To this end we call for the banning of all ethnic associations such as Arewa Consultative Forum(ACF); Yoruba Elders Forum; Ohaneze Ndigbo; Afenifere; South South Leadership Conference; Middle Belt Forum including ALL the other funny, funny, fora such as the Governors Forum; Northern Governors Forum; Southern Governors Forum; Senators Forum..
President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan of Nigeria addressing the Emir of Kano Alhaji Ado Bayero during a visit to “commiserate” with him after the Kano bomb blasts that killed over 180 Nigerians. Photo: From the President’s Online album
It appears every Nigerian ruler thinks after they had been constitutionally sworn-in by the Chief Justice of the Federation, they don’t seem convinced of their legitimacy until they go and prostrate to the Sultan of Sokoto and the Emir of Kano. Can someone see what we mean? This sort of deification and selling of their birth right as Esau did together with everything else in that country begets the North’s delusion of grandeur and their trademark arrogance in the Nigerian Federation.
Is that the President of Nigeria or a school boy?” was our first question when we found the picture above on President Jonathan’s Facebook space. Why MUST the President of the most populous Black nation on the Planet Earth stand up to address anyone in that country?
The President of a nation like Nigeria looks in the picture above visibly consumed with grasshopper complex. No wonder, after the visit tribalistic Sanusi had to sign out N100 million in the name of helping Kano bomb blasts victims, thus confirming the Orwellian dictum that ALL ANIMALS ARE EQUAL, BUT SOME ARE MORE EQUAL THAN THE OTHERS!
But who stupidly authorised that money? Does the Central Bank Governor have the constitutional right to embark on such highly discriminatory and tribalistic gesture? How will the Governor account for this crass stupidity? Under Miscellaneous, of course! It’s only in Nigeria that what is good for the goose is not good for the gander. All victims of recent bomb blasts brought about by the Northern Oligarchic’s militants and recent tragedies in Nigeria, both man- made and natural should team up, get a team of lawyers and sue President Jonathan, the Federal Government, Father Kano Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, the Central Bank of Nigeria, etc for discrimination, unfavourable treatment and the promotion of ethnicity in a multicultural-multilingual Nigeria.
Why during the needless visit to the traditional ruler of Kano, did the President of Nigeria not wear his now iconic Ijaw attire? Shame! Shame! Shame on him! Well, what does a President of a structureless cum standardless country do when he visits a local colonialist? Does eye service, fawns obsequiously as a cur and be infected with shaky-shaky syndrome (SSS). While we still hope to feature on that unnecessary visit to “commiserate” with the emir instead of the ordinary Nigerians that suffered the ill-fated blasts, it is our conviction that Nigeria has been brought to her knees because of its running a non-accountable system.
Where there is respect for accountability, the Inspector General of Police or Abuja ought to summon Ado Bayero to account for what had happened in his domain/Kingdom. After all, the Boko Haram sect spokesman said they duly informed the Kano Authorities about the satanic plot. If Nigeria is running an accountable system, some people ought to be stripped of their national honours and be made to lose their traditional titles, chieftaincy titles, ranks, be drilled by a Panel of Inquiry and subsequently prosecuted for not being in charge of their little corners and put in jail to rot there.
There’s a saying that action speaks louder than words, but let’s for the sake of this editorial change that aphorism to: “Body language speaks louder than words.” Perhaps, President Jonathan is yet to realise this, he does not usually display confidence on the international scene. The President is a complete let down on Nigeria and a stupendous disappointment. To the shame of his handlers let it be recorded for posterity that those around the President are merely concerned in seeking their Amala-daily bread and the so-called national cake, if not they should have been working on the very timid image the President usually portrays, both locally and internationally. We are convinced beyond every shadow of doubt that the President is still haunted by his Otuoke humble background; hence he is neither walking tall on the national/continental, nor on the international scene, especially when he travels to this side of the Atlantic.
Even while with his continental counterparts, the President does not display confidence yet Nigeria is the most populous country in Africa, the most well endowed, both in human and natural capitals. But embarrassingly, the Nigerian President cringes before all his colleagues in the continent without displaying any authority, boldness and peculiar carriage! Shame! Shame! Shame!
Queen Elizabeth II of England is just 5ft ‘4’ in height, but she towers above all political leaders in the world as she exudes such intimidating aura which often makes giants become like the Lilliputians on standing near her.
One really does not know the problem of the President on the international scene. He’s not consciously going out to win friends for Nigeria. He has everything going for him as an Executive President and the first academic PhD holder to occupy that exalted office. So why does the President not pull his weight at international level; why does he not have a commanding presence; why does he not speak as a man with authority, both at home and abroad? To put it bluntly President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan is just a ‘feather’ at home and abroad, hence everyone is taking him for a ride.
We think he seems to hide this very terrible weakness of his in his usual trade mark grin, and always prefers the corners, figuratively speaking, at home and abroad. As we have said before, he is not even helping himself by not pulling his weight on the international scene as he tends to behave like a bedraggled chicken. Jonathan must know that the exalted office he is currently occupying offers the finest platform for networking and making friends for himself as there’s life after becoming president of a nation.
Inability to make oneself count on the international scene is a common trait amongst Nigerian rulers, by extension, political rulers of African ancestry, hence in Nigeria particularly, after office they become like sharks in a village stream finding it difficult to move around internationally because of their corruption while in office. And having nowhere to go, they retreat to join ethnic associations where they start heating the polity by their actions and inactions, deceiving the common people that they are fighting for them, the very people for whom they could not fight while in office.
To this end we call for the banning of all ethnic associations such as Arewa Consultative Forum(ACF); Yoruba Elders Forum; Ohaneze Ndigbo; Afenifere; South South Leadership Conference; Middle Belt Forum including ALL the other funny, funny, fora such as the Governors Forum; Northern Governors Forum; Southern Governors Forum; Senators Forum; First Ladies Forum; Local Government Chairmen and Chairpersons Forum; Emerging Goodluck Ebele Jonathan for Second Term Forum of Nigeria (EGEJfSTFN); Chop Clean Mouth Forum of Nigeria; If No Be Our Turn to Rule, We Go Make Nigeria Ungovernable Forum of Africa; Amala Seekers Forum; Chop Alone-Die Alone Forum; All Nigeria Thugs Forum; Leave Our Son Alone Forum of Nigeria; Lootocrats Forum; National Cake Hunters Forum; National Assembly Hanger’s -On Forum, Prostitutes Forum of Nigeria; Pastors Forum; Imams Forum; More Blessing Sir Forum of Nigeria (MBSFN); Traditional Rulers Forum; Police Road Block Forum of Nigeria; Wetin You Carry(?) Forum; Brown Envelope Forum; Shine Your Face Forum of Africa; Egbesu Boys of Africa; Take Your Eyes Commot From Me-Abi They Swear for You Forum of Nigeria/Africa and Worldwide; Baba Iyabo Worldwide Forum; Bus Conductors Forum; Happy Birthday to Baba Iyabo Forum Worldwide; Almajiris; Their Excellencies Concubines Forum; IBB Forum International; Locusts Forum; Try Me and See Pepper Forum of Africa; Abegi Make You No Come Put Sand-Sand For My Garri Forum; Why ANPP-CPC Dey Continue to Put Buhari Wey Don Fail to Deliver as Presidential Candidate Many Times Forum(?); Odidigborigbo Forum of Africa the other Nigerian greedy lot have set up to ambush and arm-twist any government in power (AGIP) and others too numerous to mention here including their militant arms Boko Haram, MASSOB, OPC, and of course, all the milicreants of the Niger Delta whom the press erroneously refer to as militants/activists fighting for what they can chop, but deceiving the good people of the Niger Delta that they are fighting for them.
Nigerian, nay African rulers don’t seem to realise that the evil they did in office will continue to haunt them even till their graves, hence they all become social and political pariahs/liabilities after their tenures in office, that is, those who have been pushed out of office in a riot by their people as they do not have the honour and integrity to leave when their tenures are over.
Former American Presidents Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton left office many years ago and are now more relevant to the whole of humanity than when they were in the office. But the likes of Ibrahim Babangida and other members of the gang of ex-Nigerian rulers are figuratively circulating the ‘village stream’ of Arewa Consultative Forum, not even useful in any least way to the poor that have their houses around the immediate neighbourhood of their palatial and obscene castles/mansions with their equally obscene limousines all of which were gotten with the money they had stolen from the people while their very ignominious rule lasted.
Also, they are not in any way useful to the hapless Nigerians with distended stomachs worshipping with them in the mosques and churches they had built thinking God could both be mocked and bribed. Shame on all of them! Even when they see such poor worshipping with them and constantly yawning, with some of them having flies hovering all over their lithe skeletal frame stretching their begging bowls towards these rogues at such supposedly holy places, they yet can’t be moved to drop coins in such bowls.
Heartless monsters that they are! Even when the highly impoverished worshipping with them threw stones at them, stole their shoes, stone their cars, they yet can get the message, because their consciences have died. All the poor around them are saying using such violent method of communication is: “Why can you not see me?” “If I was not visible to you while you were in office because you were far away from me, will I also not be visible to you now that we worship together?”
But members of this locust class that have destroyed the people’s vineyards should know that the Keeper of Nigeria neither slumbers nor sleeps.
This editorial therefore is an invitation to Mr President to consider his ways:
Mr President, when next you are stepping out, put on a peacock gait-walk tall in presidential splendour as if the whole world is your estate. Indeed, the world is your vineyard. You are the man of the moment. You must at all times constantly convey the impression that you are in charge. Let your counterparts in all nations of the world know that you are the boss/ leader, that the boss has arrived, the boss is back, the boss is here!
When greeting other world leaders, grab their hands with all majesty and shake them well, well to leave a lasting impression as a man with authority, but please don’t do it like a local fisher man. Pat them on the back, at other times, on their shoulders where possible, hug them with dignity and all body language MUST be communicated with dignity. When in the midst of other world leaders watch them in style how they greet, hug and exchange pleasantries generally including presidential banters.
PRACTISE! PARACTISE! PARACTIS!
During crowd greetings, you appear to be too shy. Let your hands be confidently/stylishly open with genuine smile, but please not your usual grin.
Read constantly to update yourself. Get the videos of Obama, Putin, Tony Blair, George Bush, Dmitry, Clinton, J.F. Kennedy, Gandhi, Chairman Mao, Churchill, Martin Luther King Jnr., etc, etc and watch how they walk with authority. Listen to how they deliver their speeches. You are already on top, so you are the leader, therefore, learn to be in charge.
Never leave the stage without carving a permanent place for yourself in the world. Please try and avoid the folly of Obasanjo, IBB, Buhari, Abdulsalami Abubakar, Shagari, etc, because there is life after office. Tony Blair and Bill Clinton are getting millions of pound delivering lectures in and around the world; but the gang above can’t, because they ate their tomorrow while in office. Pity! Pity! Pity, then.
Finally, Mr President, you are not only as good as anyone else, you are better than anyone else.
May God be with you in that exalted office.