The Forum will feature security officers to be addressed here simply as plebeians or plebs. They will be voicing their comments on current affairs, national and international issues in a witty and hilarious manner.
News: ‘Professor’ Ed Miliband to launch his new book Monday
Enter:
1st Plebeian: Will you attend the launch and autographing?
2nd Plebeian: ‘Don’t attend a book launch whose title I don’t know.
1st Plebeian: The title of the book is Osbornomics
2nd Pleb: What are its thematic preoccupations?
1st Pleb: Growing the economy by piling up more debts
- Egalitarianism & Social Mobility – Raid the poor and make the rich richer…give that which thou raided from the poor to the rich.
- Wealth redistribution by cutting without commonsense.
- Immigration Control – Make an ugly scarecrow to scare away Romanians and the poles.
- To be tough on crime – Get more and more bobbies off the streets of Britain.
- To encourage foreign direct investment – Make a passage to India and embrace Sikhism.
- The art and science of good governance is by public relations, endless U-turns and adoption of Cleggian folly.
News: Horsegate engulfs whole Britain
Enter:
1st Pleb: It appears this horse matter is not destined to go away.
2nd Pleb: Not at all. This is what I call open horseracing.
1st Pleb: It then means everybody is horseracing!
News: Philippine now empty as nationals head for Britain in droves
Enter:
1st Pleb: I hear Philippine is now empty courtesy of the Duke of Edinburgh?
2nd Pleb: Yea. They are trooping to Britain Now to put her House of Slaughter in order.
News: Author shamed for “plastic Princess” rant
Enter:
1st Pleb: Until Very recently, I had thought there was free speech in Britain.
2nd Pleb: Not when it concerns the untouchables and the infallibles-the Royal Family.
1st Pleb: It means the British media were gagging Mantel for her mantelianism against the “plastic Princess.”
2nd Pleb: So what were they defending then?
1st Pleb: Ask Lord Leveson!
News: Tory candidate makes U-turn…fails to turn up at the giant corporation’s scheduled interview
Enter:
1st Pleb: The Badly Behaved Corporation behaved badly to the Tories
2nd Pleb: No! They just wouldn’t tolerate the Badly Behaved Candidate of the Tories.
News: Prince Philip in immigration sarcasm
Enter:
1st Pleb: I don’t always like the Duke of Edinburgh’s often dirty and politically insensitive jokes.
2nd Pleb: Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
1st Pleb: It’s nebo quo no ha bi, then.
News: Pope Benedict XVI steps aside to let in strong, virile younger Pope
Enter:
1st Pleb: Any news yet from B’ham?
2nd Pleb: Time for the Prince of Wales to embark on news famine.
News: Boss of Iceland shuns cheap foods like plague
Enter:
1st Pleb: He’s never read or heard about the Golden Rule.
2nd Pleb: No wonder, he’s selling ‘rubbish’ to the British public…the ‘rubbish’ he cannot deign to eat.
1st Pleb: The next time you‘re in Iceland…
2nd Pleb: Ne’er again! I’d rather go to Horseland to do my shopping
News: More than a 1000 patients die at Mid Staffs
Enter:
1st Pleb: But NHS is supposed to be the best of British?
2nd Pleb: That was then. It’s Now House of Slaughter!
News: Lover Boy Prince shows off his new girl skiing
Enter:
1st Pleb: Not sure Prince Harry has heard about the Socratic dictum: Know thyself.
2nd Pleb: Why?
1st Pleb: Methinks he’s a young man who does not know himself.
2nd Pleb: Why do you think so?
1st Pleb: He told the world he’s three in one...
- Harry the Prince
- Harry the combatant
- Harry the private person.
.2nd Pleb: Aren’t all these who he is then?
1st Pleb: No! He’s more. In my dissection of him I found him to be four in one! He didn’t tell the world about Harry the Lover Boy.
News: Moody downgrades Britain’s Triple-A rating
Enter:
1st Pleb: Stop being moody
2nd Pleb: Why? This is the time to be moody in Britain.
1st Pleb: Moody has just downgraded Britain’s Triple-A rating.
1st Pleb: Ne’er mind. It’s just a feel good exercise for Moody to get a temporary relief from being always Moody.
News: Coalition gang clueless about taking British economy to the next level
Enter:
1st Pleb: It means Osbornomics is not working.
2nd Pleb: Nor Cameronics.
1st Pleb: Nor Cleggonomics.
2nd Pleb: Nor Mervynism…Q.E. and all that.
1st Pleb: Then it’s time to make a U-turn from debt growing to growing the economy.
2nd Pleb: Over to Ed Ball!
1st Pleb: And to Ed Miliband too!
News: Hard times bite hard in Britain
Enter:
1st Pleb: I don’t think I can cope in these difficult times. My Landlord just chucked me out and rendered me homeless.
2nd Pleb: In David Cameron’s Britain, life’s cruel, “short”, “solitary “and “brutish”…but not to worry, get yourself a woman who will ‘manufacture’ you eleven children for a six-bedroom mansion.
News: Nick Clegg finally owns up to knowing about Romeogate!
Enter:
1st Pleb: Another U-turn people!
2nd Pleb: Partial U-turn! Partial U-turn! Monsieur Clegg says he does not know about the specifics of the playboygate