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The Forum Header

The Forum will feature security officers to be addressed here simply as plebeians or plebs. They will be voicing their comments on current affairs, national and international issues in a witty and hilarious manner.

News: ‘Professor’ Ed Miliband to launch his new book Monday


1st Plebeian:  Will you attend the launch and autographing?

2nd Plebeian:  ‘Don’t attend a book launch whose title I don’t know.

1st Plebeian: The title of the book is Osbornomics

2nd Pleb: What are its thematic preoccupations?

1st Pleb: Growing the economy by piling up more debts

  • Egalitarianism & Social Mobility – Raid the poor and make the rich richer…give that which thou raided from the poor to the rich.
  • Wealth redistribution by cutting without commonsense.
  • Immigration Control – Make an ugly scarecrow to scare away Romanians and the poles.
  • To be tough on crime – Get more and more bobbies off the streets of Britain.
  • To encourage foreign direct investment – Make a passage to India and embrace Sikhism.
  • The art and science of good governance is by public relations, endless U-turns and adoption of Cleggian folly.

News: Horsegate engulfs whole Britain


1st Pleb: It appears this horse matter is not destined to go away.

2nd Pleb: Not at all. This is what I call open horseracing.

1st Pleb: It then means everybody is horseracing!


News: Philippine now empty as nationals head for Britain in droves


1st Pleb: I hear Philippine is now empty courtesy of the Duke of Edinburgh?

2nd Pleb: Yea. They are trooping to Britain Now to put her House of Slaughter in order.


News: Author shamed for “plastic Princess” rant


1st Pleb: Until Very recently, I had thought there was free speech in Britain.

2nd Pleb: Not when it concerns the untouchables and the infallibles-the Royal Family.

1st Pleb: It means the British media were gagging Mantel for her mantelianism against the “plastic Princess.”

2nd Pleb: So what were they defending then?

1st Pleb: Ask Lord Leveson!

News: Tory candidate makes U-turn…fails to turn up at the giant corporation’s scheduled interview


1st Pleb: The Badly Behaved Corporation behaved badly to the Tories

2nd Pleb: No! They just wouldn’t tolerate the Badly Behaved Candidate of the Tories.


News: Prince Philip in immigration sarcasm


1st Pleb:  I don’t always like the Duke of Edinburgh’s often dirty and politically insensitive jokes.

2nd Pleb: Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

1st Pleb: It’s nebo quo no ha bi, then.

News: Pope Benedict XVI steps aside to let in strong, virile younger Pope


1st Pleb: Any news yet from B’ham?

2nd Pleb: Time for the Prince of Wales to embark on news famine.


News: Boss of Iceland shuns cheap foods like plague


1st Pleb: He’s never read or heard about the Golden Rule.

2nd Pleb: No wonder, he’s selling ‘rubbish’ to the British public…the ‘rubbish’ he cannot deign to eat.

1st Pleb: The next time you‘re in Iceland…

2nd Pleb: Ne’er again! I’d rather go to Horseland to do my shopping


News: More than a 1000 patients die at Mid Staffs


1st Pleb: But NHS is supposed to be the best of British?

2nd Pleb: That was then. It’s Now House of Slaughter!


News: Lover Boy Prince shows off his new girl skiing


1st Pleb: Not sure Prince Harry has heard about the Socratic dictum: Know thyself.

2nd Pleb: Why?

1st Pleb: Methinks he’s a young man who does not know himself.

2nd Pleb: Why do you think so?

1st Pleb: He told the world he’s three in one...

  • Harry the Prince
  • Harry the combatant
  • Harry the private person.

.2nd Pleb: Aren’t all these who he is then?

1st Pleb: No! He’s more. In my dissection of him I found him to be four in one! He didn’t tell the world about Harry the Lover Boy.


News: Moody downgrades Britain’s Triple-A rating


1st Pleb: Stop being moody

2nd Pleb: Why? This is the time to be moody in Britain.

1st Pleb: Moody has just downgraded Britain’s Triple-A rating.

1st Pleb: Ne’er mind. It’s just a feel good exercise for Moody to get a temporary relief from being always Moody.


News: Coalition gang clueless about taking British economy to the next level


1st Pleb: It means Osbornomics is not working.

2nd Pleb: Nor Cameronics.

1st Pleb: Nor Cleggonomics.

2nd Pleb: Nor Mervynism…Q.E. and all that.

1st Pleb: Then it’s time to make a U-turn from debt growing to growing the economy.

2nd Pleb: Over to Ed Ball!

1st Pleb: And to Ed Miliband too!


News: Hard times bite hard in Britain


1st Pleb: I don’t think I can cope in these difficult times. My Landlord just chucked me out and rendered me homeless.

2nd Pleb: In David Cameron’s Britain, life’s cruel, “short”, “solitary “and “brutish”…but not to worry, get yourself a woman who will ‘manufacture’ you eleven children for a six-bedroom mansion.


News: Nick Clegg finally owns up to knowing about Romeogate!


1st Pleb: Another U-turn people!

2nd Pleb: Partial U-turn! Partial U-turn! Monsieur Clegg says he does not know about the specifics of the playboygate