Receiving, Secretary to the Government of the Federation? Are you receiving Anyim Pius Anyim? What are these liars, deceivers and dodgy officers doing in your office?
| 20 February 2012
The remnant of Israel shall not do iniquity, nor speak lies; neither shall a deceitful tongue be found in their mouth... (Zephaniah 3:13).
Anyim Pius Anyim Secretary to the Government of Nigeria: The SGF office is not an automous community...you need to shape in or shape out!
Alhaji Isa Bello Sali Head of the Civil Service of the Federation: What’s the use having a civil service without customer service?
Comrade Abba Moro Nigeria’s Interior Minister...Boy to whom security education is a strange word. Anyone who knows this boy should tell him to book an appointment with Janet Napolitano and Theresa May for a few lesson in Security Education
The Secretary to the Government of the Federation should hang his head in shame that he has bloody liars, deceivers and dodgy officers working with him. A bunch who have for their own inglorious ends chosen to lie, deceive the information seeking world and those who are genuinely concerned about the grave threat to national security in Nigeria and are out to help through the exalted office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation. The two or three female officers who spoke to us last Friday should without further delay be shown the exit door as they have been found to be a pack of gossiping misfit desecrating such hallowed ground of service with their shoes on.
How can a band of thoroughly brain washed, misinformed, untutored and miseducated miscreants like Boko Haram not turn Nigeria into a field of blood with such ill-equipped, untrained, unpatriotic elements together with the so-called security chiefs dotting the sacred pantheon of service like the SGF office and other strategic offices in the land?
Just like the SGF, to their shame be it said and recorded for posterity all public officers who at this time have converted public offices to a clan or autonomous communities peopled with their brothers and sisters, cousins, in-laws, sons and daughters, clans men and women, friends, relations of friends and such other idiots that are often imposed on public officers by traditional rulers and such other gambit personalities and religionists. Nepotism and other abuse of office are jailable offences on this side of the Atlantic, but certainly not in Nigeria.
This is often the consequence of running a country without set rules and standards! This is why a shameless jihadist/Boko Haram like Mallam Sanusi Lamido Sanusi pursuing the ideological doctrine of Boko Harmism could sign away our N100 million in the name of donating it to the victims of Kano bomb blast, his own very State of origin and would be fiercely defended by an intellectual Lilliputian that goes by the name of Professor Sam O. Olofin with both still keeping their jobs. Let these two also hang their heads in shame, but before we come their way in a full blast editorial on such crassly insensate benevolence that exposed particularly, Sanusi for who he is, a Boko Haram of the first rating with his gambit Islamic Bank dream, let them start clearing their desks immediately.
Can anyone in Nigeria tell us how/why these two officers found their way to be working in such a high office- the SGF’s, one of the very most important offices, not only in sub-Saharan Africa, but one of the most important offices in the world? It can only happen, once again, and the risk of being repetitive, in a standardless country like Nigeria with a highly dysfunctional civil service, where the presiding Head of the Civil Service of the Federation, being totally ignorant of his job specifications and like other dunderheads before him have accommodated aberrations in recruitment by hereditary privilege such that you ask what is the rationale of having the two whited sepulchres - the Civil Service Commission and the Federal Character Commission, should we say Federal Charlatan Commission, except for the purpose of maintaining the tradition of duplicity, corruption and other lootocratic pastimes!
The date was Friday, February17th, 2012 and the time was between 13.45-13.54 (London Time) when we had called the office of the Secretary to the Government of the Federation to seek important information as we intended to route a message aimed at seeking a transatlantic solution to the menace of terrorism in Nigeria through that office to the President, and for the immediate term with Boko Haram in mind, and longer term: Terrorism generally, cyber crime and biological terrorism as by our reckoning, while still helpless in combating a band of local militants, now internationalised courtesy of the ineptitude of Nigeria’s good for nothing security chiefs whom we shall never fail to call for their heads-in just a matter of moment Nigeria will experience a large scale cyber terrorism of an unimaginable magnitude, and one thing is certain-that country is still not prepared and equipped to deal with real terror activities that will destroy data in very high and sensitive offices running to billions of pounds.
As is usual of all offices in Nigeria, after we had rung +234-9-7631485, it took donkey years for someone to do us the ‘favour’ of coming to answer us on the phone even though we could hear people gossiping at the background. ‘Favour’ because in all Nigerian offices, both at home and abroad whenever you have any dealings with Nigerians, they think they are doing you a favour. Also, it’s characteristic of Nigerians not to pick up the phone after three rings. They have to let it ring and ring, cut off with the person ringing and ring and ringing again and again before their ‘Royal Highnesses’ will foot drag, that is if there is no office assistant they will scream at to get them the phone, even though the phone is within reach.
Not answering phone on time is one way Nigerians like to display their big manism and big womanism. It is worse here at the Nigeria High Commission in London, a place where male and female visitors share the same toilet stepping on each other while scrambling for space with no respect for privacy-yes it is real, but we shall discuss this in details some other time-yes, it is happening at the High Commission of the 8th oil nation in the world! The Nigeria High Commission in London is simply another Nigerian office abroad, where women and men do it together in the same toilet!
So once it had pleased the staff of the SGF to finally come to us cutting short her gossip at the background, we had tried to introduce ourselves:
This Writer: “My name is...
Female Voice: Wrong number (probably in a hurry to go back to her gossip), but we reckoned it’s more of idiocy, lack of training and gross lack of customer service.
This Writer: I’m calling from...
Female Voice: Wrong number! (She interrupted again without letting us finish or ‘land’ as the colloquial expression goes in Nigeria.
This Writer: Isn’t this the SGF’s office in Abuja?
Female Voice: Wrong number! This is not the SGF’s office. SGF’s office is at the Federal Secretariat in Abuja.
This Writer: Can you listen to me please? We got this number from the SGF’s website, why are you telling me it’s a wrong number?
Female Voice: No! I say wrong number. This is not the SGF’s office.
This Writer: We want to route a message to the President through the SGF...
Female Voice: I say wrong number! She then dropped on us and dashed off to continue the gossip we had heard at the background hitherto. This staff of the SGF is a type of the civil servants in public offices in Nigeria and abroad. She in fact, is the exact photocopy of Dr Dalhatu Sarki Tafida’s staff at the Nigerian High Commission in London, even though Mr Olugbenga Ashiru the Minister of Foreign Affairs, himself a one time staff of the Nigerian High Commission in London had praised the High Commissioner and his staff to high heaven.
After the idiot had dropped on us, streams of thoughts coursed through our mind. We had thought amidst the Boko Haram menace public servants in Nigerian would have now been given security education, such that if someone from far away London said he had a message for either the President or the SGF, such a person should have been subjected to security questions with every details taking from him.
Out of bewilderment, we had to double check the information we had got from the SGF’s website the previous day. Why did she aggressively charge like a bulldog: “Wrong number?” “Wrong number?” Could it be that one of the SGF’s staff had put their private number on the website, since the culture of supervision is non-existent in the Nigerian system? If so, why must this happen in a public website? This is our website and the website for the information seeking world. If this is the case, it must never happen!
We called back again, this time to query the reasonableness of putting as we had by now been misled to conjecture a private phone number on a public website. As we called, the usual Nigerian attitude of spending precious time gossiping in public offices and be paid full salary at the end of the month was at play as we could hear from the background. On this and many other laxities amongst the civil servants in Nigeria, particularly the Federal Secretariat Abuja, we had drawn the attention of former President Olusegun Obasanjo to it and we are by this editorial drawing the attention of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan too to it. And the way to reduce such laxity and chicanery is for wages to hence forth, be remunerated on hourly basis, both in the public and private sectors in Nigeria, not making room for sick leave or any form of absenteeism including employers’ time used by some employees in that country to pray.
Using one’s employer’s time to pray be it in the public or in the private sector is cheating on one’s employer, and all Faiths condemn fraud in no unmistaken terms. We want to believe that the Head of Service will issue a circular on this, this week with the Presidency and the Apex Legislative Assembly putting machinery in place for hourly remuneration in that country. This we hope will curb the NOT ON SEAT SYNDROME, and other funny, funny taking off for spurious courses, burial ceremonies and prayers in public offices, especially on Fridays at the expense of the employer, this time the Government of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Prayer is a highly private thing and should be highly private to adherents of all Faiths. Using one’s employer’s time to pray is not only tantamount to gross misconduct, but a fraudulent practice!
When it pleased another female staff of the SGF to answer the phone we had said:
This Writer: We had just called this number... (interrupted).
The New Female Voice: Wrong Number!
This Writer: This must be the SGF’s ... (another interjection).
New Female Voice: Wrong number!
This Writer: Who is Femi Olayisade (one of the two names) listed on the SGF’s website.
The New Female Voice: (Sensing that we‘ve got her at last, then said crudely).
Hold on! (And then dashed off with another female staff coming to the phone).
Third Female Voice(?): They said you had a message for the SGF.
This Writer: Attempted to introduce myself to her. In an environment where the country is under grave security threat, she never cared to establish the identity of her potential interlocutor, more worrisome, in such an exalted office which by strategic security reckoning is a major target. And while we tried to introduce ourselves, she crudely interjected).
Third Female Voice: I have heard you, send your message.
This Writer: I’m trying to introduce my...
Third Female Voice: I have heard you. Send your message.
This Writer: Out of amazement that she was more interested in returning to join others in gossiping, and no thought at the nation’s threat level which is now RED, we had tried to ask).
Have you heard about terrorism? Have you heard about Boko Haram... (another interruption).
Third Female Voice: Send your Message. I have heard you.
This Writer: To whom do I route it through? I’m going to send it by email and by courier services.
The Third Female Voice: No! Because of security reason, send it by air.
This Writer: Who am I speaking with?
Third Female: I can’t give you my name because of security reason. (She then dropped the phone and dashed off).
About their lack of civility and decorum, we shall not dwell on too much. This is what any person doing business in Nigeria should prepare to get, until someone concerned issue a circular this week to ALL civil servants in Nigeria and embassies abroad that anyone who does any business in any Nigerian office should be treated as a customer and with all politeness and respect accorded them on behalf of the nation.
From what we could glean from the SGF’s staff in the course of our few minutes discussion is that these sort of staff ought not be found in such an exalted office as the sort of people by our estimation who genuinely would be calling that office are in the rank of presidents of nations of the world, diplomats, security chiefs in and around the world, international business people including industrialists, governors, who should expect intelligent responses spiced with decency and decorum from the high calibre staff that the occupant of the office of the SGF should surround themselves with.
The SGF office is both national and international, so what the SGF needs as his staff are a Professor of International Relations/Diplomacy with specialism in counter terrorism, a retired military officer of the rank of at least a Brigadier-General thoroughly groomed in intelligence and strategic defence, a Personal Secretary who MUST be a PhD holder in ICT, and an expert in cyber crime and information management, an Environment and Climate change expert, a PhD with between 25 –30 years experience, a Professor of Political Science well versed in policy and development, a Business Manager with a PhD who must have been a managing director in the private sector.
Were any of these envisaged officers to have responded to our call, save for again, Nigeria’s big man syndrome, the story might have been different. These high calibre officers could in the event of the SGF being unable to attend a function to which he had been invited represent him and at the end of the day, no one would have missed his absence! By this suggestion, we are not implying there are not some qualified personnel in that office, at least we had worked with Dr Adegoroye while still at the erstwhile Federal Environmental Protection Agency and during Chief Ufo Ekaite’s period and a Director of Planning and Statistics whose name we have forgotten during our membership of an Administrative Panel set up by former President Olusegun Obasanjo. These are the calibre of people strategically positioned to give Nigeria the public relations it badly needs at this time.
The other implication of the uncouth mannerisms of the SGF’s staff that attended to us bordered on security. No security information was demanded of us whatsoever! But they kept urging us to send the message. What if the message we had in mind was a harmful one they had missed an opportunity that would help in investigation thereafter.
Worse still, imagine we were on that day out to alert the Federal Government of Nigeria through the office of the SGF about an imminent attack on the nation? An opportunity to process such message to relevant Authorities would have been lost!
On the whole, the few minutes we had spent with the ill-equipped staff of the SGF gave us insight into how vulnerable the Federal Secretariatand the entire nation still are despite the activities of Boko Haram and it left us thinking albeit weirdly that in the event of any attack directed at the secretariat, be it terrorists attacks such as bomb attacks, cyber warfare on data and biological attacks including territorial invasion, Nigeria is not yet sufficiently security conscious to ward off all these hypothetical cases. And from just that few minutes’ conversation with the SGF’s staff, key figures of the Jonathan Government are as vulnerable as imminent attacks on critical national infrastructure (CNi). No wonder, Boko Haram are ahead of the Nigerian security agencies in planning, strategy and actual implementations of their heinous plots.
In sum, what we are saying is that there is zero security education in Nigeria, despite the Boko Haram’s satanic activities and the Interior Ministry headed by the so-called Comrade Abba Moro.is sleeping and snoring. We are just wondering if this Comrade of a fellow knows what Janaet Napolitano, United States Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security is doing by way of networking with all strata of the American society for purpose of security education; we are just wondering if this boy has ever heard of Theresa May, Home Secretary of the United Kingdom how she gives herself sleepless nights strategising that Britain might be free of all forms of attack. These are the people he should be comparing notes with on daily basis.
By what we got from the SGF’s staff we are very sure they will not know how to deal with a mysterious object left in their office, this mysterious object, say a bomb. How will they report it, has the Interior Minister come up with any scheme on security education for all Nigerians including school children, workers, market women, etc? We doubt very much. Have all the gates to public offices, particularly the Federal Secretariat in Abuja been redesigned to have blasts resistant, including windows, doors, etc? Are there fire exits, and all staff and visitors alike know where they are including evacuation points?
Are uninvited visitors still thronging public offices, without putting a stop to this malady? How protected are the car parks in and around the Federal Secretariat in Abuja and in other parts of the country, have people/staff been told not to park their cars in these car parks, and if they MUST, they MUST be registered and their owners pay for the period security will guard them and be well vetted? Have bus stops near public buildings been relocated to about 300 metres away? Do school children know what to do in the event of imminent and actual attacks including availability of nose and mouth protectors?
Are they ongoing training for staff in the private and public sectors including the Armed Forces and the Police on Anti-terrorism, Conflict Management, First Aid at Work, Physical Intervention, Security Searching, Weapons Awareness, Vetting Skills, etc? Have all the civil servants in Nigeria and workers in the private sector been banned from using office telephones; are all public data well protected? Have the Armed Forces and the Police restricted movement of outsiders to their barracks with 24/7 patrol, stop and search? Are plain clothed security officers on patrol of public buildings, Federal Secretariat in Abuja, schools churches, mosques 24/7? What safeguards have churches and the mosques put in place in the event of imminent and actual attacks? Are all mobile telephone subscribers registered with their names and those of their guarantors stored on the data of the service providers?
Have the maps of flashpoints areas of the country been carried out as we had suggested in one of our many editorials on the security situation in Nigeria in 2010? Do Nigerians know how and where to report terror threats, are they hotlines and are they published by the press on daily basis? Has the nation got its Crimestoppers and Community Support Police? The list is by no means exhaustive. This is just our wake up call to the nation.
God bless Nigeria.